I’m starting to think I should seriously revise my “forgive all and forget all” attitude.

It’s turning me into a complete doormat. Here I am, sat doing college-level homework in a field I don’t do over MSN for an ex (who’s an ex after an awful lot of dicking around with my emotions prior to the actual dumping) who’s currently off smoking a joint. I won’t mention the pictures vs. facebook fiasco or the times he came over twisted off his face wanting sex then skipped off merrily in the morning without so much as a kiss goodbye or even bothering to contact me at all while sober. Now, I’m not one to get thick over casual sex. I was a willing participant. But it’s still a bit dickish, and makes it fairly damn evident that he doesn’t give two shits about how I feel about the whole thing.

And you know what, fuck him for taking me for granted anyway. I’m an amazing girl. I’m laid back, low-maintenance, I don’t do drama or head games. I smoke weed and enjoy a pint or two. I play good videogames, I watch good movies, I listen to good music. I’m smart, I’m decent looking, I can cook when I want to, I’m easy as hell to get on with, very little scares me, nothing puts me off. I take good care of whoever I’m with, I’m compassionate and do everything I can for anyone, nevermind just my partner. And above all else, I’m honest. I don’t care if I sound egotistical; what I said is the truth.

I’m one of those girls who’s pretty hard to come by. If he doesn’t realize that, then I guess I’ll have to find someone else who will.

But I still miss him. I hate that.

How do I train myself to not be a doormat? And how do I do that without burning bridges?